Redefining Success: Cris Graves on Filmmaking, Feminism, and Embracing Singleness

In this episode of The Passionistas Project, sisters Amy and Nancy Harrington interview Emmy-winning filmmaker Cris Graves. Cris discusses her passion for storytelling, her feminist journey, and her mission to redefine societal expectations around singleness, especially for women. Growing up in Mexico City and inspired by a diverse cultural background, Cris shares her experiences sneaking onto film sets as a child and her eventual realization of the joyful and fulfilling life of being single. She has directed a short film series and is currently working on her latest project, Alone Girl, a narrative influenced by her personal life and the pressures women face regarding relationships. Cris also introduces her Blissful Spinster brand, including daily affirmation cards, aimed at fostering independence and community. She outlines her dreams for the film and her broader mission to empower women to find joy and resilience within themselves rather than from societal expectations.

Listen to the full episode HERE.

LINKS

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ON THIS EPISODE

[00:18] Cris Graves on what she’s most passionate about

[00:48] Cris Graves on her early life and inspirations

[01:58] Cris Graves on her journey into filmmaking

[05:38] Cris Graves on her navigating personal and professional challenges

[21:18] Cris Graves on the birth of Alone Girl

[25:31] Cris Graves on building the Blissful Spinster Community

[36:45] Cris Graves on her future aspirations and final thoughts

Passionistas: Hi, we're sisters, Amy and Nancy Harrington, the founders of the Passionistas Project, an inclusive sisterhood where women find support, purpose, and empowerment. Each episode, we share stories of passion driven women breaking barriers and redefining success. Today, we're chatting with Emmy winning filmmaker Cris Graves, an adventurous storyteller who's filmed around the globe on shows like The Amazing Race and Whale Wars, and now inspires with the Blissful Spinster Meowment and daily affirmation cards. We're so excited to talk to you today. Hi, Cris.

Cris: Hey, Amy and Nancy. I'm so excited to be here.

Passionistas: So Cris, what are you most passionate about?

Cris: Um, I am most passionate about. Making sure women know that it's okay if they feel like being single, that we don't, we shouldn't be tied to the boxes and the definitions that the patriarchy has put on us, whether you're a woman or a man or anyone in between, actually.

So, so what inspires that in you? My own personal journey, . Um, I, from a very young age was, uh, very disinterested in anything to do with the relationship. , um, uh, with any sex. Um, but, uh, from a very, so, from a very young age, from like when I was eight, uh, my sister. Who is, uh, 13 yars older than me? I'm the youngest of six and I come from a big family like both of you.

Um, and like Amy, I'm the youngest. Uh, I am, uh, so it's four boys and two girls in my family. Two older brothers, my sister, two older brothers, and me. My mom was very symmetrical and having her children. Um, but my sister, uh, made sure I was a feminist. As I was growing up, made sure I had my first pair of jeans, and when I was eight, uh, she took me to see Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and I don't think I mentioned it, but I grew up in Mexico City, so I'm a third culture kid.

If anyone out there knows that, it means that you're from one country and you grew up in another. Um, so you kind of are this blend of the two cultures. And I lived in Mexico from 1 to 19. Um, so the joke between my friends and I is that I'm an American Mexican. But, um, anyway, um, but we went to see Close Encounters.

Um, it was like a sister day. And when we got out of the theater, my sister said, what did you think? And I said, I want to do that. And she said, what, be abducted? Because my whole family is full of wise asses. And I said, no, I want to make that. And somehow my little eight year old brain had figured out that someone had told me a visual story.

And I wanted to do that and I started writing the very next day and I was very, very focused. Um, I had a membership to a subscription that was given to me at Christmas. Probably. I think when I was 11 or 12 to premiere magazine, which I would read from cover to cover. I discovered that they filmed American films near my house, um, because they filmed a lot of, um, American movies in the 80s, uh, in Mexico City.

And 70s and 80s and I would sneak on to sets. Um, whenever I saw the trucks show up and they were always very amazed that this little kid who, you know, because that started when I was like, 9 from like, 9 to through high school. I would sneak on the sets. And when I was really little, um. Like ADs and directors would be fairly surprised, but let me sit there because I was, um, enthralled by what I was watching.

I wasn't noisy. I wasn't, you know, like, and set always has always felt like home to me. Um, I love. Um, being on set, whether I'm a PA or a friend visiting or the director or the producer or whatever it is I'm doing, just that energy of this collaboration taking place to make, um, this piece of art is, uh, It's just home to me.

And, um, so that was always my focus. I also did theater because theater is where film started. Right? Um, and to anyone out there listening who wants to be a screenwriter or a director, and they haven't studied theater, um, please pick up Poetics because that is actually where it all started. Um, um, And, uh, so I would do theater in middle school and high school, and I was also into photography and the dark room.

So I was the photo editor for my newspaper and my yearbook by the time I graduated and was never interested in Pursuing, um, boys or girls or relationships or any of that. I had 2 really good friends. Um, Nelly and Victor and we were kind of 3 musketeers and that's all we did. And, um, you know, Nelly had a boyfriend and that was.

Fucking great. And I don't know what, I mean, she's, you know, like, but it wasn't something that was me. And, and then I went to college and grad school and was picked on mercilessly by certain friends. Cause like, why do you think he was driving you home from the scene shop all semester, you know? And I'm like, I don't know, cause somebody had a crush on me and I wasn't paying attention.

But, um, when I got to my thirties, I started to wonder if there was something wrong with me, because that's what we get bombarded with as women. If we don't want to be in a relationship, Is there something wrong with us? Right? And, um, you know, people would go like, well, if it's not guys, maybe you're a lesbian.

And I'd be like, no, it's not that, you know, maybe you're this or that. And I'm like, no, it's like, I've sat and I thought about it. I'm like, but in my thirties, I like, Um, let friends teach me how to put makeup on, which I'd never really done, you know, like, and all of these moments that you see in rom coms where, you know, like, um, friends are helping you, um, sorry, I need to turn this off.

Um, so, you know, all of those things that, uh, You see in rom coms, the makeovers, the whatever, those were happening to me in my 30s. Um, I was, uh, going, trying and going on dates or, you know, playing on Tinder here and there and got really spooked by somebody who started stalking me. Um, so, I don't do online stuff anymore.

Um, but, uh, and really pretzeling myself into this version of Cris. that was trying to fit in to what society wanted me to be as a woman. And by the time I reached my early 40s, so that was maybe, you know, it was probably about 10 years of me trying to to figure this out. And, um, you know, and I cleaned up.

Well, I, you know, I, you can look up photos of me for the Emmys, you know, like, um, and, uh, I realized I woke up one day and I was like, I think we're being gaslit by the patriarchy is basically what. Kind of came into my head and I started investigating that in myself and, um, you know, a couple years later, I'd done a couple of, um, a few years later.

I mean, I'd done a couple of short films by then, like in 2013, my mom passed away. I'll tell you. And I think that really, that was, I was 43 and that's kind of what started this, like me kind of figure out My place in the world, right? As, as moments like that happen in our life. And my mom had stayed married to my dad.

I am in fact named after my dad's lover. Um, so, uh, and my dad, you know, I was daddy's girl for many, many You know, when I was younger and, and did that whole thing, but it's complicated, you know, he was, uh, if he was still alive, he might cop to it. I don't know if he would, but he was a misogynist and he was a narcissist and he was all the things that happened when, you know, you were part of the silent generation, you know, being a businessman.

Um, but yeah, I'm, I'm named after, uh, his lover, who's a woman named Cristina down in Mexico, who he'd had for decades and, but my mom. Stayed married to him. And, um, I had talked to her about that at some point, um, years earlier when I'd kind of discovered all of this. And, you know, she said she loved him.

And, but also I think it was a different time for women. You know, the world my mom would have faced with, She had five or six kids or whenever, like if she had left even before one of my brothers had been born. She couldn't own, she couldn't have a credit card. She couldn't have a business without a man.

She couldn't have a house. She had all of these kids. You know, I don't, you know, it was a different world, trying to separate and get divorced. But I also do think she, she did love my dad. And he was very charming and he was very lovable. He just, he, he was who he was, right. And we're all human and we all have our faults.

Um, but, um, when she passed, um, a couple months later, uh, or a few months later, I woke up one morning and realized little Cris was there. Little eight year old Cris was there and she was asking me what I was doing. And I'm like, what are you talking about? And she's like, well, you're working in TV and you're getting to travel, like you've already been able to travel everywhere you wanted to.

Cause that was another dream I had. And, and by that point, I'd been able to work and working on unscripted shows of the adventure type, which is the kind that I'd worked on, um, had allowed me to go to all continents, which had been a dream aside from filmmaking. And my, you know, I was also a national geographic, you know.

And Jacques Cousteau watched her and um, dreamt of going to all continents and I had, I'd achieved that through the work I'd done. And she's like, and you get to tell all of these stories of other people, but why aren't you telling yours? You moved here to make movies and write scripts and direct them.

And, um, she was right. And so I sat down and made a plan. And I'm like, okay. Uh, only take jobs, um, to a certain title, so I, I don't take anything above a senior producer on shows I work on, um, because I could very well show run and I don't, it's not something that's in me. I don't like it. Um, not in Unscripted.

Uh, if, if, if it was a TV show I created, it'd be a different, a different, but, um, But what that would allow me to do is I know I know how to do my job well enough and give it enough energy that, um, at that level that they're getting 100 percent but I still actually have gas left in my tank to do what I want to do.

And so that's, um, I started operating under that, um, I had read, um, and, and done, um, watched a lot of interviews with, uh, Roxanne Gay and she had this, I saw her tell someone that thing going. Call it your day job, whatever you're doing and make sure that you're doing something that leaves you enough in the tank to do what you really want to do, like your passion.

And so that's where I got that from. And, um, and I started operating from that. And the next day I went on Craigslist and I found a Blackmagic pocket cam. Thing like with lenses and everything else, but the very 1st version of it, because it was, uh, 2013, 2014 at the time and, um, went out, wrote my 1st short film that I did with a friend, um.

Co co-wrote, co-directed and then did my next film on my own that I directed, which is the clown short, which I need to send you guys. But it's a short called Boza Nova, which can be found on Vimeo that I can certainly send you the link if you want to link it. Um, and it's, um. I raised them, like I saved up my own money and I shot it.

And then I did a crowd fund for five grand for the post, which I was proud that I was able to do. And that kind of started all of that. And eventually, um, by 2018, um, a friend turned to me and said, you know, it's time to write a feature because we can get into this, this place where we just make short films and especially as, uh, women filmmakers.

Yes, let me bring you up, uh, especially as women filmmakers or, um, uh, filmmakers of color or under from underrepresented, um, you know, populations or places, um, I think we get into these spaces where we're like, well, we have permission to do this, but we don't move on to the next step. And, um, I'm very grateful to that friend for.

Uh, turning to me and him saying, you know, it's time to do that because I could have gotten into this. Just make a short film, just make a short film, just make a short film. Um, and so he, that same friend, a couple months, like he'd said that and I'd been chewing on that idea and I was working. He was, he was, uh, the showrunner on a show I was working on, a true crime show.

And I walked into his office. So tell him something because we were in post and I sat on the couch and then he goes, so what's up with your, what's up with your dating life or your, you know, cause as we do with friends and almost subconsciously, like I don't, it wasn't planned, but I was like, Oh, I'm done with that.

And he goes, what are you talking about? And I go, I'm, I'm, I have absolutely no interest. I'm. That's not, uh, I, I have realized that's not my natural state of being. I am perfectly happy being single. And he kind of smirked and I said, what? And he goes, well, that's your film, isn't it? And I go, what are you talking about?

And he said, it's, it's somebody who's decided to be single and all their friends are trying to set them up on a date. Like that was the basic one line. He said, and I go, you know what? That's something it's not the whole thing, but you have something. And that was in September, 2018. And in October of 2018, my dad passed away, and I don't say this to make people feel sorry for me or anything.

It's just those are those things that happen in life. And, um, he, uh, so I went home and, you know, we did the whole thing with my family and all of that happening. And, um, but two months later, I was walking in my neighborhood, having a walk. Um, and. It, it was as if a weight had lifted from my shoulders, and I realized that I no longer felt this pressure I'd had without necessarily knowing it had been there to bring someone home, a partner, or to, um, from my parents, and they had never ever.

They'd never sat me down and been like, you know, we wish you'd get married. Like they'd never been that. Cause I think I've always, my mom used to say about me that I'd been born and then I raised myself that that's how independent I was and. You know, I look back at my life, and she's completely was completely correct.

That was, you know, um, whereas my dad had told my sister at some point, uh, why would I pay for college when I'm when you're just going to get married and be taken care of from a man. Which was something that would have been said to a young woman in the seventies. Um, there was no argument whether I was going to college or not with my dad.

My dad knew that wasn't something he was going to win. I don't know what it was with me, but I think possibly it was my sister. It's the influence on me, but, um, who's a badass and I love her to death, just like you love each other. Um, and I wish she lived in Los Angeles, but she lives in Dublin. So she's further away than you two are from each other.

But, um, so, so that was it. So this, this weight lifts off my shoulders and I'm like, and, and it really solidified. For me, this idea I opened with, which is we're putting these, these definitions in these boxes of what we're supposed to be doing and what's supposed to be, you know, making us, uh, a member of society in the way we're supposed to be.

But also where our happiness is supposed to come from, because as women, we are really taught that our happiness is exterior to ourselves. It's how we're socialized from the first Disney film that's put in, and that's just wrong. And it's toxic. Um, but, you know, the, the, the young princess comes up to the king and goes, I want to leave the castle and, and see the world.

Right? And the king acquiesces and she goes out and what does she find five minutes later? She points at the prince on the horse and goes, Oh, there's my happiness. The prince hands it to her when they get married. Right? And, you know, that gets into your DNA. Okay. And then you think, oh, my happiness is given to me by someone who chooses me.

And then it gets into the DNA with, like, most surprisingly, which I would have never told you, 29 year old Cris would have told you, there's no way in a million years I'd be working in true crime. I don't watch it. I don't pay attention to that kind of news. I write comedy. But I'm really being good at it because I like to tell people's stories and I've got compassion and empathy and, um, you're dealing with people dealing with the worst Some of the worst things that have happened to them in their life.

They've lost a loved one. They've, you know, a cop's seen like the worst thing they've ever seen and But in that work, which I was coming into as all of this awakening was coming to me. I started encountering these Moments in these, in certain young women's or older women's, depending on how old they were when this happened to them, lives where their friends or family members are talking about them, and I'm not going to tell you it's every time, and I'm not going to ever tell you it's the whole reason, but oftentimes Uh, there is a moment, uh, or there's a, there's a, um, a woman will stay too long and they're no longer with us because there's a voice in them that doesn't want to be seen single.

It was better to stay in that dangerous, toxic relationship because they were in a relationship and they were than them to leave because they'd be seen as single. And, and I, again, I am not saying it's the whole reason ever, it's not, but there is a portion of that, and that started when She was four and was shown those videos or all the rom coms we see or any number of ads that we get seen and I get told all the time, Oh, well, younger women, they don't get the same.

I'm like, No, it's still being bred into us. And it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if your family is open and says, Oh, it doesn't matter to me. You're, we are all ingesting the same media. Um, and so, so that started coalescing, right? That thought, the fact that I wasn't feeling the pressure anymore to be in a relationship.

And I'm like, wait a minute, I need to investigate that because I think this is the crux of my film. And so, Alone Girl was born out of all of that. Um, I always think for many months before I write, um, I know a lot of people, uh, do treatments. I cannot, if I do a treatment, I won't write the script because, um, I love discovering a lot of stuff while I write the first draft.

Um, I do do cards. Uh. And so I started writing in February of 2019 and was done by March. It was written in about six weeks. Um, I had the fifth draft by about the summer somewhere. A friend of mine and, um, who's a casting director and a producer, uh, that I've known since grad school, helped me do a table read.

And I entered that draft to the Austin Film Festival screenwriting competition. First time I ever entered, um, that competition or any writing competition with a screenplay. And it managed that draft managed to make the semifinal round in three categories of the Austin Film Festival. Um, and it's written from a very personal spot, my heart's in every.

Page about 70 percent of the conversations in there are directly pulled from things and situations that I have been in. Are the situations in the film heightened or made comedic? Yes. Um, are there things that have happened that happened to Sam that didn't necessarily happen to me? Yes. But the base of it and a lot of the conversations and the and the feeling all comes from me, which, um, I think they're, they're, they're, It's time for us, for women, to be able to see stories from women's points of view, like this one.

Um, and I know there have been a few unromantic comedies, um, even as, um, Uh, recently as, um, I can't remember, I think it's, um, The Worst Person in the World, I think it's called, which was a Swedish, uh, film, um, which was a film by a Swedish, I think he's Swedish, he's Scandinavian, film director, but again, he's a man.

It's great. And it centered a woman, a young woman, uh, who, by, uh, a young woman who by the end of the film, uh, chose to be on her own. But I could tell a man had written it. And it comes in a very pivotal point. The woman gets pregnant at one point with her couple, or with somebody, and she'd always said she didn't want kids.

And the person she was with had said he didn't want kids. And, um, it breaks the relationship up, because she, you know, but instead of her actually going to have an abortion, The filmmaker chose the storyteller chose her to have a miscarriage and I'm like that was a cop out for this particular story I'm not saying that that's not a traumatic moment.

I'm not saying that's not I'm saying for this particular story if you were to watch it from the lens of a woman telling that story the the stronger choice would have been for her to actually go through with what she was saying she was as opposed to Um, having her just lose the baby, um,

Passionistas: And we've had this conversation like the Sex in the City thing is always pissed me off where it's like, it's all about girls and their friendship and being strong women and then the end of the series is like, she has to end up with the guy.

Cris: Yeah. Uh, or, or the choice is, uh, made for her as opposed to her making the bad, the difficult choice. Right. So anyway, um, but yeah, and, uh, that's my very long winded thing of how I got on that journey, but it's become something much bigger. Um, this is the 6th year. I've been working towards getting my film made.

Um, I do think as independent filmmakers, we also need to think of ourselves as entrepreneurs. Um, but also. What's come through all of this is that I've realized there's a need for this message to get out even bigger than just my film. Um, to build, I'd like to build a blissful spinster community. Um, I've had my own, a few, like, You know, like, there was COVID in the middle there when some of this stuff was happening with my script, but also the strikes happened, which should have happened, and we all need those rights.

Um, but it's all made it this really interesting, like, landscape to navigate while trying to get this out, but it's also allowed me to evolve and manifest into this version of Cris that you see in front of you, who is far closer to the character I wrote in the script than necessarily I was when I wrote the script, because the script is about this evolution.

And at the very end of the script, not to give it away, but she, she starts a podcast and then I ended up starting a podcast in a, uh, um, uh, imitating my own art, but that also started me on this journey of going, wait, I would get messages from young women going, so thank you so much for talking about this.

And they're all women, like the first messages I got were like, somebody was 25, someone's at 35. And. You know, it really solidified for me the idea that yeah, we all are still receiving this. It's not just older women and I want to be able to provide, you know, something for those women to look at and go, wait, there is a route and there is nothing wrong with me if whether it's, you know, I don't see myself being in a relationship for the rest of my life, which was me, or it's I don't see myself being in a relationship right now, because I need to be in a relationship with myself, and I need to learn who I am, and I need to learn where my happiness comes from, and get in touch with that, so I can show up better, because you do, you show up better when you're You harness that, right?

And then your relationships will blossom if that's what you want. If you find your person, that's beautiful. I've never been one saying, Don't be in a relationship. But we do need to redefine what spinster means, and what that means, you know. I think that I weave happiness, and I send it out into the world.

That's what I want to define spinsterhood as. And isn't the world more beautiful when we allow the tapestry to include all of us? How boring a tapestry if we're closing it off into boxes, right? So, um, but so yeah, a bigger mission, um, has transpired. I've made little mistakes. I started a cat brand, um, which is not a mistake, but the cat brand, what the mistake I made entrepreneurially is that I was being very sneaky as a storyteller.

And I launched the cat brand, uh, without connecting it to the broader story. Um, and I love my cat people, but that wasn't necessarily as they say in entrepreneur classes, your avatar, which I didn't know until just this last year when I decided to really hunker down. Um, and then we found out that, uh, being single and a cat lady was something to be, um, was a political leaning.

I guess. I don't know. Um, I was a very weird place to find myself, but I do think. That all of that has coalesced into me going, well, maybe this is the timing for the film. Maybe this is the reason it's taken 6 years, right? Because the timing needs to be right. Because this movement, the meow, I call it the meow ment, because it's connected to this, but the cat, so the cat brand is actually partly the merch of the film.

One of they're all designed based on my own cats, one of which, um, sadly passed away in January. Um, his name was Jack and he was my cat muse and my soul cat, as I call him and he, I have footage of him sitting on me while writing my script. He has been with me. He was with me the whole time. Um, journey, but I do think that maybe he moved on because he's doing other things right now, uh, with his cat magic, um, propelling what I'm trying to do forward.

Um, but 1 of those designs, um, which I guess you're going to do the video, but, um, this is the design. This is Jack. He looks a little director. And this design is going to be on a sweatshirt, uh, that the lead character wears because she has a cat that's named after Jack, um, who's based on Jack. And that cat's been cast, by the way.

There's a cat actor that's been in training for the last four years. Um, but, uh, And I've worn, I have that sweatshirt actually, I wore it for a good year and a half, and now I'm putting it away, uh, as part of my manifestation, um, that's my, that I, that I'm gonna get my film made, um, and I've got many other things, um, that's not here, but I have a coffee cup that's got cats on it, that's my lead characters, I have a, a typewriter, which people might have seen if they follow me and some of my stuff, that typewriter is the characters, Um, typewriter, so everything I'm doing, um, I've got this big picture in this big vision and, um, everything I'm doing has pieces of the bigger mission and the bigger picture in it, um, and all of the colors you see me using are part of the color palette of the film too, um, in a bigger sense, but what I should have done when I launched the cat brand was to include all of what I'm telling you today.

And I did not. So, um, although some people bought some stuff, it was, it, it, it kind of stuttered. You can still go into my store, all of it's there, and I've got this and sweatshirts and everything. But, um. What I realized this summer was I'm the blissful spinster. I'm the center of it all and I should have been acting that way the whole time.

And that's what I'm in the midst of right now. Um, and, uh, that's why I created this is the last thing Jack helped me create, which are blissful spinster affirmation cards. Um, and. Uh, they're all, like I said, that typewriter is part of the whole bigger mission, but, but this is, um, I'm really passionate about these, um, I wrote them, there's 45 of them, and they're meant to be a tool to help us stay in touch with our joy and our resilience and our independence, um, and I think nothing can be more important than that, um, and when we We can stay in touch with those things and our radical joy.

We can also show up in community because community, which is what you two are really good at building. And I want to learn from, is, uh, we're going to get through this in community, which is why I felt it was important to show up yesterday, actually when you guys made a call out, we showed up at Adam Schiff's office to give our, our two cents.

Um, anyway, That's, uh, I'm having a pre-sale on these. Um, I don't want to get too salesy, but No. Anything helps.

Passionistas: Where can people get them?

Cris: Um, so, um, you can find these on my, um, website at BlissfulSpinster.com. Uh, if you go to, I'm going to be changing it soon, right now it's called Positive Imprints, but I think I'm just going to call it Shop.

Um, uh, again, we are all learning. Um, and my website, I just, I just finished, uh, designing it. I think it looks pretty cool. Um, you can also find, um, what kind of spinster are you quiz on there and all that stuff. But if you go to the shop, you'll find the cards, but you can also, if you follow me on Instagram, which is, uh, P G F R E E K.

Um, so it's PG Freek with two E's. Uh, I was a very big Peter Gabriel fan and had an AOL that was called that when I signed up for Instagram. So, um, anyway, it's still memorable. Um, PG Freek on Instagram, you'll find Uh, the link to my stand store, um, the, the, it's, it's right there. There's two links. There's my link tree and then there's just the stand store.

If you click on the stand store, it'll take you right to the cards. Um, if you get them on stand store, you can, you can get one deck. Um, uh, they don't have a thing for getting more than one. If you go to my store, you can get more than one. Um, if that's what you wish to do and buy a gift, um, that's in presale.

So I'm going to be sending the print as I get 50, um, sets of 50. And I'm at number, I think I might hit number 20 today. A friend of mine told me she was buying 1, um, and they're going to be printed at a really small family owned print house in upstate New York. I found, which I also love because I can support a small company.

Um, and then this is, uh, this is burlap. So it'll come in a sustainable bag, um, and I'll write your name or the name of whoever you're giving it to on this tag, um, and it'll be shipped with love, um, from me, um, and yeah, by helping me with this, you'll be helping me, uh, keep myself afloat because it's been a little tough in January for anyone in L.A. who works in the film industry, um, And, uh, it will help, um, me launch blissful spinster, which I'm still, I'm hoping I'm planning to do a sub stack. I just haven't worked that out. But if you come to the website, there's already a ton of stuff for you guys to look at for you folks to look at. I'm working on saying folks and not guys. So I apologize for that.

Passionistas: That's a hard one to break.

Cris: But yeah, but know that I am working on that. Um, because, uh, being inclusive of everyone is super important to me. Um, and I'm sorry that I just talked for 40 minutes without letting you ask me.

Passionistas: No, it's great. You, you, you, you're a storyteller. You answered all the questions that went along.

You, you, we couldn't, us interjecting questions is just going to interrupt your beautiful story.

Cris: So, I go on side quests. I go on side quests. Sorry.

Passionistas: That was great. If you had gone too far away, we would have been like, Hey, Cris, come back, we're over here.

Cris: Um, but, but, uh, on a note on that, I also, I absolutely love what you guys have built and the energy you bring. And you know that, and I always try to show up to support, um, and for anyone out there listening. Um, they'll let the, Amy and Nancy will attest, I do love to support. So let me, let me know how I can help you guys and, uh, or you folks and, uh, and, um, yeah, I, we, we rise together.

Passionistas: Yeah. You've been an amazing part of the community and you're always there for everybody and especially us and, uh, I don't know how we'd do it without you. Um, so we're really, really grateful. So what is your dream for the film? Like, what do you. What do you hope happens this year in getting this film made?

Cris: Um, my hope for this film, so, sorry, um, Bobby's, Bobby's trying to interject, and he's not on camera, so nobody knows. So, no, my, my dream is to get it set up, so I'll be, um, the story takes place between Thanksgiving and Cristmas Eve, I mean, and uh, New Year's Eve. So my dream, and it takes place in L. A. um, and Santa Barbara, although it was written that way very specifically, um, so that we could shoot in L.

A. because we can shoot Santa Barbara, parts of L. A. for, um, Santa Barbara. We don't need to go to Santa Barbara. Um, and, uh, fortuitously, a movement has just popped up, Stay in L. A., uh, 2025. Um, Every producer that I have had attached, which I have none attached at the moment. So anyone out there who wants to reach out to me, let me know, uh, anyone out there who has an investor, especially one who is a woman, um, or, uh, um, someone like that I would love.

Uh, but, um. There's a movement starting up at one of my, I've always wanted to shoot here, no matter in LA, no matter, uh, how many, uh, tax breaks people have shown me. Um, and I in fact had somebody, even a couple weeks ago, a friend of mine going, you, you're shooting yourself in the foot, you could shoot it for 3 million in Budapest.

And I'm like, I could shoot it for 3 million in LA too. That would only work if you told me I could shoot it for 100 grand in Budapest, which I'm not going to do that. But it's important to me, especially even more. So now that we've had the fires happen here to put my foot down with that. But to answer your question, I have come close to getting development funds.

About 5 times in the last 5 years, and this is I'm coming into my 6 year. Um, as of this month, um, on this journey, and that would be 100 grand. That would allow me to reach out to actors that I want to, um, because that how that works for anyone who doesn't know is, um, in general, you want to try to get, um, what's called an a letter of intent from an actor of some notes, um, that, uh, An investor or a, um, uh, a company like, um, uh, what are they called like a distribution company?

Maybe we'll put up some money because based on the actor, right? That you have attached, um, but those letters, what I had been told the last 5 years generally come when you have some money and you can put a deposit down on them writing the letter. Um, so that chicken and egg thing, what came 1st, the money or the actor generally means the money came 1st, right?

And that's what I've been operating under. I do have my script, I don't want to say it out loud to the world right now, but I do have, my script is with someone of note, someone that would be a dream to play one of my characters, um, something I finagled by being at Sundance in 2023 and then getting them on my podcast, um, and nurturing a relationship, I need to reach out to see what That might be, but, um, I learned recently from becoming friends with the people, the director and producers who did Thelma, which is a wonderful film.

If none of you have seen it, go rent it, um, and stream it. It's, uh, got June Squibb who's, um, she's, uh, 95, 96 now. Um, she's the star and it's a, it's a. It's an action caper starring a 95 year old woman. Um, it is wonderful. Um, but they sign, they attached, um, June and Fred Hersinger, who, if you watch White Lotus, and he was in the first season, he played, uh, The, the teenage son, I guess, who fell asleep on the beach.

I didn't watch like White Lotus, so, but this is what I'm being told. But he's also in Gladiator 2. He's one of the, which I have, I haven't seen either, but he is in, he's in the, he's in the teaser. Um, but anyway, all that to say, they, they got both of them. Attached before they had financing. And then the financing came after, which I, I had been told over and over again was not possible.

And so, um, I now know it is. So I'm gonna be going after that person doubly, but if anyone's listening to this and wants to help and go, Hey, if they have interest and they, that is a, a stumbling block, I'd be more than happy to help you out with that. Um, but getting that. Um, getting a couple of actors attached, um, and like, say, up until the beginning of summer, maybe, and then working to getting the whole thing put together so that we are filming by, um, right after Thanksgiving, um, because we could, um, we can shoot my film for, um, Um, on a really tight schedule 18 days, but, um, it's been the day out of days that we did do was 22 and that is, uh, the, the Monday right after Thanksgiving to right before Christmas.

And that is the time period that this, um, it's a holiday film to, um, a long girl, like it takes place over those holidays. Um, and L.A. has a very specific light during that time of year, so it'd be nice to shoot during then, but to shoot it then. Um, uh, and then maybe get it ready to send out to TIF, which is in the fall, um, or, uh, if it doesn't get into TIF, then, uh, hold our breath to get into Sundance, not next year, but the year after, um, that would be my, uh, current trajectory.

And then what comes of it. After that, um, and the, the people there's there's 3 actresses. I would love to play the lead. Um, if anyone out there has any connection to any of them, um, and any combination of these 3 actresses to play the lead and her sister. So, I think, but it would be either. Uh, Tracy Ellis Ross, uh, Rain Pryor, who is Richard Pryor's daughter, um, or, um, Sophie Okonedo, who is a Tony Award winning actress, um, who is wonderful.

She was just in an independent film that I just saw. I didn't even realize she was in it, but I was, it was something we watched while I was, um, quarantined in in color city during the fire with my friends. Um, uh, what was it called? I can't remember the name of the film. I'd have to look it up. Um, it was a little indie film She was in but she was also in ratchet She played the, the, um, multiple personality patient.

Oh, yeah. She's great. Yeah. Um, but she's also a Tony award winning Broadway actress and is British. And so she's been on multiple like national theater and Western shows. She's just really talented. Um, so, um, yeah, I want to, um, like if anyone has any contact with any of those people, that would be great.

That's awesome. Yeah. Excellent.

Passionistas: Well, we could talk to you forever. We haven't even asked you about your TV career, so we're going to have to do another special Amazing Race episode, I think, so that we can dive deep into Amazing Race.

Cris: We can totally do that. If people wanted, now they listen to this, even if it's in the Passionista, if people have questions about anything to do with Amazing Race or something like Whale Wars, or any of those adventure based shows, I don't really, Um, and I'm going to be doing a lot of work in, um, I, although I have many friends who've done and have, or may even still work on Big Brother or relationship dating shows, those aren't the things I, uh, really chased after to work on, or things of the nature, like in what's it take to produce in true crime or any of that, um, maybe they can send in questions and we can do another one of these and we can do that, um, more than happy, um, To share my knowledge or funny stories if people want, um, because, um, yeah, uh, all of those things, um, have contributed to the artist.

I am today and I would have never been able to write the script. I just spoke to you guys to to you folks about, um, if I hadn't had all of that experience, um, in my 20s, I was writing Uh, science fiction things that, uh, when I read today, I'm like, Oh, you hadn't lived life yet. Right. That is one thing I always get when people read Alone Girl.

They're like, all of your characters are, um, fully defined. They all have their own arts and the dialogue sounds real. And, um, I attribute that to. The decades of unscripted and doc TV that I've done because I've had to listen to hours and hours and hours of interview and everything else. And how poorly nwe actually speak in real life.

Passionistas: I will say I have read hundreds and hundreds of scripts in my lifetime and I love your script. I think it's unique and well written and a story that needs to be told and has not been told even if like you're saying there are non-romantic comedies that exist. I've never seen anything like it and as a woman who was single for most of her adult life.

Um, and felt that pressure from that world outside, even though I didn't care, I really, really is beautiful and it's something that will change people's lives and it's entertaining. It's not heavy, it's really fun and it's just like one of the best scripts I've ever read. So anybody who's listening who does have money, I just want to throw that out there.

Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much. Yeah. Um, one last question for you. Yes. Two part question. Okay. Um, what is your dream for yourself? And what is your dream for women?

Cris: Um, well, my dream for women, I always think of everyone before myself, um, is for, for us to, um, finally across all of our, uh, You know, racial and socioeconomic and all those divides to really, um, realize that our strength is when we are all in community. And for, um, those of us, because I'm a white, uh, cisgendered woman, um, we need to learn to, to, uh, be led, um, and to not try to take.

The lead. Um, and, uh, I was just having coffee with a friend of mine, the one that was supposed to come yesterday. We, we met up later. Um, and she's a, um, uh, she's a person of color. Um, and we were just chatting and I'm like, for too long, we have not listened. Um, and we don't get through to each other. A time like we're about to go through without being there for each other and, uh, fostering, um, true communities, uh, whether they're small that then come into bigger spots, like, do we start small and cook communal meals?

And invite neighbors. Um, do we, you know, uh, she, she, when, when we talked and she didn't come downtown, um, she said, maybe I'll make some calls. I go, yeah, do some calls. And that's what she did while she waited for me to get back. She called a couple of, uh, reps offices. And one of the things she said, and this is actually pretty important, I think, because it was a brilliant thing.

She, she, she was talking to this aid of one of our reps and she said, how, what can I That's what we should be doing to help you. And that is how we need to start thinking, right? I think that's like that we can wake up and see that there, there is power in one, and there is power, power in the community, and, um, That's my hope for women and for myself, um,

I don't know that, that, uh, that I find that I'm successful in what I'm trying to do, I guess, you know, whether it's, that's the film or the community, but that, that what I'm trying to do touches Cheers. and allows others to feel seen and heard, and that I, in my tiny way, in the one tiny root that I've chosen of the patriarchy to attack, because it has many, many roots, and until we all don't, like, until we all start attacking all the roots, it's not going to come fully down, because it'll keep growing back.

The Andrew Taits of the world will keep coming in and, you know, ripping apart what we've done. Um, that, that one tiny root that I am. trying to attack and the work that I'm doing, that that, uh, touches, uh, whoever it needs to touch and makes them feel seen and makes them feel, uh, uh, or gives them the courage to let their own voice be heard.

That's what I hope.

Passionistas: Thanks for listening to The Passionistas Project. Since we're not only business partners, but best friends and real life sisters, we know how unique and truly special our situation is. We know so many solopreneurs, activists, women seeking their purpose and more, who are out there doing it all on their own.

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